Mischelle and DeAngelo are a married couple from Washington, DC, whose sleeping arrangement may raise some eyebrows: For the last three years, this husband and wife have been sleeping in separate beds.
“It’s a functional thing,” Mischelle explains in the above video. “I don’t like to be touched while I’m sleeping; he likes to cuddle.”
While she seems happy with the arrangement, her husband isn’t quite as comfortable with it. So, the two Skype into “Oprah’s Lifeclass” to get the opinion of a third party: Steve Harvey.
Harvey, who penned a relationship book in 2011, immediately poses a key question to DeAngelo. “Is this causing a problem?” he asks.
“I think it’s totally dysfunctional and is a bad example for our children, as far as what a marriage is supposed to represent,” DeAngelo responds.
Mischelle admits that the sleeping in separate beds may be driving a wedge between the two, but insists that it’s an arrangement that can be successful. DeAngelo points out that Mischelle’s own parents slept in different parts of the house, and he doesn’t want to repeat it in their own relationship.
“For me, it’s unacceptable,” he reiterates. “As far as [it driving a] wedge, absolutely. Once the children are out of the nest, what I’m concerned about is we won’t have any connection, other than being roommates and great friends. That’s not enough for a marriage in my opinion.”
After hearing this, Harvey addresses Mischelle. “Ma’am, I would listen very closely to what your husband is actually saying,” he says. “I’m going to tell you flat out: I don’t know how you’re planning to make this work when that’s not obviously what he signed up for.”
When the two married, Harvey continues, sleeping separately was never a part of the relationship. “This is a new thing you started three years ago,” he says. “If a man likes to cuddle and you don’t, and you done put him in another bed, how much longer [do] you think he’s going to go without the cuddling?”
“There you go,” DeAngelo nods in agreement.
“I’m just speaking from a male perspective,” Harvey adds. “Let me tell you what 99.9 percent of the men [in that situation] are going to do: We’re going to go cuddle somewhere.”
DeAngelo flashes a thumbs-up, but before Michelle’s reaction can boil over, Oprah asks if this is news to her, that DeAngelo would go “cuddle somewhere else.”
“No,” Mischelle sighs. “No.”
Harvey then sums up his advice to this couple. “If you don’t reverse this pattern right here, it can’t do anything but drive a wedge in your marriage,” he says.
More advice from Steve Harvey:
- The one item that should never appear in your dating profile picture
- When to stop financially supporting your children
- How to approach the exclusivity talk in a new relationship
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